Having turned the corner at 40 a few years ago and year end upon us, I'm in a reflecting (or is it reflective?) mood... In fact, I'm in a frustrated, angry and depressed mood! How ugly is that to deal with and I suppose you don't want to read about it. And yes, I know it's not a Godly response, but sometimes being real and honest and allowing thoughts to flow helps me get perspective and lets me deal with these emotions. It helps me find hope.
So I'm glaring full-on into the face of my failures and I want to scream!
I was raised in a subculture that insisted
I could do anything I wanted to do, be anything I wanted to be, if I were willing to make the effort. The message was that both the universe and I were without limits, given enough energy and commitment on my part. That was
until I was confronted with MY limitations which are now dressed up as failures. And yes, I made choices too, choices that have consequences, and some of those consequences now have me frustrated, yet others are beautiful.
But the truth is
we do have limits. These limits define who we are
not, they illuminate that which we are
not passionate about. And that too is valuable. In a way it's freeing, because on the other hand they also reveal who we are, where our passion lies and what we are indeed capable of. I will therefore not tell my sons that they can do all things, that the sky is the limit.
 |
| "Space" taken by Prince 1 with his cell phone |
Instead I'll help them discover their limits and I'll not foster impossible expectations. I'll help them find their strengths, their passion, and if possible their purpose. I'll sacrifice my dreams for their dreams...
and I'll redefine success in the process.
What is success? What affirms one's worth in life and what leads to true happiness?
Is it a piece of paper issued by an academic institution? Is it a piece of paper with large figures issued monthly by a conglomerate that has bought your soul, your freedom? Is it a perfect house, a luxury car, designer clothes, private schools, au pairs and overseas holidays?
Or is it waking up next to someone that makes you deliriously happy, someone that shares your dreams, admires you, believes in you and makes sacrifices for you? Someone that after 25 years still thinks you are the most beautiful and desirable woman in the world? Is it possibly having
the luxury of time to commune with your Creator as you savour a cup of coffee and watch the mist roll down the mountain from your bedroom window into the paddock where your horses are peacefully grazing? Is it possibly snuggling up with your children as you share a good book read aloud around a crackling winter's fire while other parents are rushing in the cold to get everyone to school on time? Is it possibly
having the eyes to see and appreciate the small miracles as they unfold before you daily: the first blossoms, the first goslings, the first tooth, first step, first word written, first chapter book read and first cake baked?
Isn't it
who we are that matters
and not what we've achieved or attained? Don't
happy, healthy relationships determine our success and worth and ultimately lead to true happiness? Maybe I am successful...
